All the absurd business ideas

Every idea on this site has its own page, so you can read it, share it and argue about it. They are in no particular order, and none of them is a good idea.

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  1. Sell shares in a cloud. Dividends are rain.
  2. Rent out a lighthouse to people who just want to be noticed.
  3. Offer an alarm clock service where a person calls you and says it is time, then hangs up.
  4. Sell standing desks that are slightly too tall.
  5. Open a hotel with rooms but no hallway.
  6. Provide a subscription to a person who says 'good morning' in a neutral tone.
  7. Start a courier service that delivers your own packages back to you.
  8. Offer professional sighing for stressful meetings.
  9. Sell scented candles that smell like a warm laptop.
  10. Charge by the minute for pretending to listen.
  11. Sell artisanal ice cubes. Hand-frozen, slightly different sizes.
  12. Rent out your wi-fi password for people standing near your house.
  13. Sell portions of a five-year plan, one year at a time.
  14. Launch a ride-sharing service for people who prefer to be driven in circles.
  15. Offer fact-checking for things people say to themselves in the mirror.
  16. Start a flight simulator that simulates only the boarding process.
  17. Sell second-hand horizons.
  18. Create a charity that raises awareness of its own existence.
  19. Rent out a very average Tuesday afternoon.
  20. Sell fortune cookies that contain only the current date.
  21. Provide a hotline that answers your question with another question, at standard rates.
  22. Offer personal assistants who assist only with personal assistant tasks.
  23. Start a farm that grows sprouts of ideas, harvested seasonally.
  24. Sell beach sand by the grain, delivered in the order of arrival.
  25. Open a car wash that washes only the passenger seat.
  26. Create a subscription for a plant that you must never water, only monitor.
  27. Sell high-quality empty folders labeled 'Important'.
  28. Charge a nominal fee to cancel your free trial of the free trial.
  29. Offer lessons on how to correctly feel at home in your own home.
  30. Start a company that outsources outsourcing.
  31. Sell a rock with a user manual.
  32. Rent out empty bookshelves to people who want to appear well read.
  33. Offer a parking spot to a bicycle for the price of a car.
  34. Launch a loyalty program for people who have never returned.
  35. Sell pre-owned thoughts, lightly considered.
  36. Open a coffee shop that sells the experience of waiting for coffee.
  37. Create a premium zip code. Same location, better number.
  38. Provide on-demand background noise for your dull moments.
  39. Sell photographs of the inside of closed doors.
  40. Charge a fee to move a number from one spreadsheet cell to another.
  41. Offer a refund on things you never bought.
  42. Start a delivery service for the sound of rain, shipped on cloudy days.
  43. Sell membership cards to a club that has never held a meeting.
  44. Open a tailor shop that makes only adjustments to the idea of fit.
  45. Rent out a bench at a slightly better angle to the sun.
  46. Sell a subscription to a newsletter that summarizes other newsletters.
  47. Create a premium tier of the free tier. It is free, but gold.
  48. Offer a service that reviews your reviews of reviews.
  49. Sell time slots in which nothing will be scheduled.
  50. Invent a better mousetrap, then rent it out as a coaster.